Together
by Abby1
Summary: The events of Adrift - the sequel from Renee's point of view


Disclaimer: I have the greatest respect for the producers and writers of JAG, and would never attempt to make any profit from their show. The characters used in this story were not created by me and I take no credit for the invention and success.   
Author's Note: I'm a big Harm and Renee fan, so this is in that manner. This is my first ever JAG fic, so some feedback would be very much appreciated.   
Summary: The events of Adrift - the sequel. Based around the character of Renee  
Rating: G  
Spoilers: Adrift.   
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The man turned, smiling and lifted his hat into the air as a wave. Calling out voice light and bright.   
" I'll see you soon, I love you "   
And the woman smiled in return as her heart leapt, as her mind digested those three little words that he'd never said before. As her soul settled with a peace that calmed and comforted her and as the world looked different.   
  
What had made her look up, she'll never know but she new instantly that something was wrong with Harm, the pain in the admirals eyes and the way he had looked at her alerted her to the fact straight away. His eyes had never left her own as he explained what had happened, he made her feel as if she were the only soul in the room, his words touched her deeply and she focused on the soft tone of his voice. Then she had remembered the message what he had just said he'd explained how Harm had been flying through the storm, his plane had an electrical failure, that they were unsure of the exact nature of the problem but the result was that the plane carrying her lover had been lost at sea. Renee breathed deeply as she slowly came to the relisation that Harm was somewhere in the cold, dark night she had dreaded driving through, that he would be cold and scared,but she knew that he would make it though, He was too hard to kill, too eager to live and he had promised.   
  
" I'll see you soon, I love you "   
  
Mac, had taken charge as she always did and the Admiral allowed her too. They found a speaker phone from somewhere and had patched the worried party into the search centre on the Patrick Henry, but apart from regular communications about the state of the weather there had been no luck.   
When Renee heard that they had spotted a raft, she felt her heart race, her hands sticky with sweat were clenched shut and jammed under her arms, protecting her from the words of the rescue pilot. Standing back from the group at the table, she held her breath as the chopper pilot announced the identity of the individual who had been granted safety and plucked from the water.   
She nearly recoiled at the news that it was not her Harm, that he was still out there, and even more shocked by the news that his RIO had not seen him eject. He may have gone down with the plane. No! He would have ejected late, he would just be further away and they would find him floating in his life raft as they had found skates and he would be fine, as had skates.   
  
" I'll see you soon, I love you"   
  
Mac was crying, Mic had reported it, that and the fact she wished to be alone, Renee couldn't think of what she would do, if the people supporting her left. She didn't want to be alone, she was so scared of being alone, that now all she wanted were people. Especially those who felt her pain and knew what she was going through.  
After a few hours, the team had moved back to JAG headquarters. Now she was sitting on the couch in the admirals office, a light blanket draped over her knees and a mug off scolding hot tea in her hand listening on the speaker phone for any news. And as the minutes passed and the storm raged on, Renee rose from the couch and wandered into Harms office, seated in his chair she could smell his aftershave lingering in the air and a faint distinct odour of an illegally smoked cigar, the rich soft smell of the tobacco had stayed with the worn leather chair. Running a finger over the edge of his desk she could see him in her mind, leaning forward concentration etched into his brow as she would watch him silently from the doorway. Swinging her legs under the desk she kicked a small sports bag that had been stashed under the darkness of the old chestnut wood. Opening the bag with a slow tug on the zip, she was confronted with his favourite Navy t-shirt and shorts and his old jogging shoes. Drawing the t-shirt from it's neatly folded position she held the soft cotten fabric to her face, and inhaled the sweet, masculine scent that was disctinctly Harm and a gentle comfort. She could feel his arms wrap around her, a kiss on the cheek after he's swept the hair away from her face and secured it behind her ear. And he kissed a trail from her lips up the high ridge of her cheeks until he reached her ear, where he blew softly into the drum as he whispered.   
  
" I'll see you soon, I love you"   
  
Her eyes took a minute to register her surroundings and adjust to the light, and she swept the room visually scanning for Harm, desperatly wishing that her dream had become reality and that reality had just been a dream, and as her dream failed to materilise and the cold realism of what was happening washed over her, she fought back the urge to scream and made herself sit calmly in the chair and breathe slowly, deeply, controlled.   
Tiner had entered the darkened room respectivly quiet and had informed her that there had been a break in the weather and that the rescue search had been sent back out.   
As she walked dazedly into the Admirals office, the pain and fear etched onto the faces of the people before her touched her deeply, they were unsure of wether Harm would be found safely, they didn't have his assurance, his promise, they hadn't seen the look on his face, the smile that reached his eyes and overtook it with joy. All they knew were the truths, the facts of the situation facing them. They knew that the surface temperature of the water was too cold for Harm to survive much longer. They knew that no tracing beacon had been activated which suggested that Harm was not in a position able to activate it. They knew that Skates had not seen him eject, which meant that it was possibile that he had not, that he had gone done with his plane. They knew that the waves were twenty five feet high, and the swell alone was nine feet. They knew the wind and the current could have carried him tens of miles away from the search site. They knew there was the danger that he could be taken by a shark, that he could lose his raft making him harder to find, that he could have become tangled in his parachute and never made it to the surface. They just hoped that he had avoided all the perils and was alive, They didn't know he had promised.   
  
" I'll see you soon, I love you"   
  
The room, was silent as the helicopter located the missing pilot, but the cheer was held, they needed to him him speak to hear him alive and well. Renee needed to hear him, to see him, to hold him and never let him go. She needed to hear him say it again, that he loved her, that he would always love her, and she would tell him the same until her voice was coarse and then she would whisper it in a scratch. She allowed herself to see the future, and then as her smile had reached her eyes,closed in relief. The condition of her lover was relayed to her. Harm had been in the water too long, he had succumbed to hypothermia. Commander Rabb was dead.   
Renee felt as if she had been physically hit in the stomach by a sledge hammer, she gasped for air her lungs seemingly betraying her, her mouth moved but no sound passed her lips, and tears formed in her eyes and teetered on the rims of her eyelids, then spilled like rain down her smooth cheeks.   
She found herself standing watching as he walked away from her and she knew that if she could prevent him from leaving then he would be with her. So she yelled his name, but her voice wouldn't work and he wouldn't turn around, and she cried out in silence and whispered his name, and whispered it again and again, and he still walked. Purposly striding away, his small bag swinging in the air, hat held in his hand, back straight, tall and proud he walked away from her and then he turned.   
  
" I'll see you soon, I love you "   
  
Her voice was coarse as she yelled his name, the Admiral held onto her arms and shook his head gently as she tried to tell him that he couldn't be dead that he had promised, that he had said he would see her again. That he wasn't a lier, that he was a good man, and finally that it must be wrong, they must have gotten it wrong. The look in the man's eyes infront of her, the pain and sorrow, told her it wasn't a dream , it wasn't a mistake, Harm was dead and he wasn't coming back, and she couldn't see him, or touch him, or hold him or talk to him . Harm was dead and where he had been there was nothing, a hole filled with broken dreams and blurred memories, of photographs that could never catch the true vitality of the man, images that could never brush the hair away from her eyes, never hold her or kiss her. And while the pain of her loss was so great she still stared longingly at the entrance to the bullpen, waiting for him to stride in, waiting for him to return. For him to fufill his promise.   
  
" I'll see you soon, I love you "   
  
As the relisation hit her, the force of the truth pushing down happiness and overwhelming her with grief, she needed to escape the prison that confronted her with images of past joys, joys that she would never have again, she rose to her feet, pushing herself away from the leather and through the mourners around her, past where Mac was sobbing on Mic's shoulder, past were Bud stood tears unashamadly blotching his cheeks, and she ran further on, past where she had joked with him as she came to collect him for lunch. Past where they had first meet and where she had instantly felt a connection to the cocky lawyer. Pushing through the barrage of memories ignoring the calls of concerns from the Admirals office, all she knew was that she had to get to his house, to be comforted by the smell of his sheets, the site of his uniforms hanging in the closet, she had to get back to where everything was still normal, where time stood still, where she felt safe and at peace. And as she took the stairs down two at a time, she remembered the look on his face as he came home from work, how he would smile as he saw her, how she would rush to greet him and he would take her in his arms and kiss her. And as she let herself know that it would be as true there as it were anywhere else, she stumbled in the rain and went sprawling into the wet gravelled road, and as she rose bleeding and sobbing, she failed to see the lights, failed to hear the horn until it were too late.   
  
" I'll see you soon, I love you"   
  
  
The woman stands, glancing anxiously around unsure of the surroundings until her anxious glance settles on a figure walking towards her, his back straight, tall and proud, wearing a smile that reaches his eyes and overcomes his face.   
The corners of her own lips rise and she walks slowly towards him, her eyes unsure and filled with pain, and as he raises an empty hand to wave a welcome she breaks into a run, throwing herself into his strong arms, he swings her round and around until leaning to kiss her and whispering into her smile.   
  
" I love you"   
  
  
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Please review.   
Abby.   
  
  



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